Here's something almost every meditator secretly thinks, no matter how long they've been practising: am I actually doing this right?
You sit down, close your eyes, and within seconds your mind is off making shopping lists and replaying conversations. You drift, you fidget, you wonder if you've wasted twenty minutes. So let me say the thing I wish someone had told me sooner: almost none of that is a sign you're doing it wrong.
In fact, most of the moments that feel like failure are quiet signs it's working.
The Signs You Think Mean Failure - But Don't
When we settle into meditation, the mind doesn't go quiet on command. It unwinds. And unwinding looks messy from the inside. Here's what's really happening beneath the surface.
9 signs your meditation is working
- Your mind keeps wandering. This isn't a distraction from the process - it is the process. A settling mind releases thoughts as it goes.
- You drift toward sleep. Often your body is simply taking rest it's been needing. Let it.
- Your thoughts slow down. Fewer thoughts means you're sinking beneath the busy surface of the mind.
- Your breath goes soft and shallow. A sign of deep rest - the body needs less when it's this settled.
- You lose track of time. When you can't tell if it's been five minutes or twenty, you've dropped below your usual surface awareness.
- There are little gaps between your thoughts. Those quiet spaces are glimpses of stillness - and they grow the more you practise.
- You get pleasantly lost in thought for a while. The mind rides its own currents inward. Let it carry you rather than fighting it.
- Your head nods or your body sags. The body letting go - releasing tension, or catching up on rest. Both are good.
- You feel a small twitch or jolt. A physical sign of stress leaving the body. Nothing to worry about.
Notice the thread running through all of these: they're forms of letting go. Meditation isn't a performance you can fail. It's a release you allow.
The Two That Confuse People Most
Two experiences trip people up more than any others, so they're worth naming directly.
"My mind won't stop - I must be terrible at this."
A busy meditation isn't a failed one. When there's a lot of stress to release, there are a lot of thoughts moving through - and that can make the time feel long or restless. That's not you doing it wrong; that's the release happening. The more you soften and let it move, the more comfortable it becomes.
"I keep falling asleep."
If you drift off, your body needed the rest more than it needed the meditation in that moment. Nothing is lost. As you catch up on sleep over time, you'll find yourself staying present more easily.
The bottom line
There isn't much that can happen in meditation that isn't positive. When you stop worrying about doing it "right," you relax - and a relaxed mind drops deeper, more often.
One Gentle Note
Just occasionally, meditation can bring difficult feelings to the surface rather than ease - old grief, anxiety, a sense of unsettledness. If what arises ever feels genuinely distressing rather than simply unfamiliar, it's completely okay to open your eyes, come back to the room, and return to it another day. Gentleness is part of the practice, not a break from it.
A Final Reflection
For me, meditation has never been the whole answer to a busy mind (I practice Vedic meditation). So much of my own inner chatter was really worry and old insecurity underneath - and it was energy work that finally helped me meet those, and come back to centre. Stillness got easier once the noise underneath had somewhere to go.
But wherever you are with it, the invitation is the same: stop grading yourself. The less you ask "am I doing this right," the more right it quietly becomes - and that's true of far more than meditation.
If you'd like to understand where you are on your own path a little more clearly, you're welcome to take my free soul journey quiz - a gentle two minutes that meets you exactly where you are.